Where there’s a will there’s a way uncomfortable conversation


willIt’s Tuesday already, but we’re still going to call this “Family Week” on the JMD blog, a smorgasbord of posts related to and about family.  You’ll either find new insights about me, nod your head knowingly or count the days until next week.  In any case, it still beats cleaning the kitty litter box.

This past weekend, I spent a few hours in the hospital with my Dad and Stepmom.  The reasons for our time there are not relevant to the post, so I’ll just add that my Stepmom was able to leave by Sunday and is attempting recuperation at home.

“These days” (i.e., the past couple of years), being in a hospital with Dad inevitably leads to a discussion of life after death.  Not the spiritual or religious kind, but the “here’s all the stuff you’re going to be responsible to take care of after we’re gone” kind.

I’m a pragmatist and realist, but it’s a discussion that’s unpleasant even as a theoretical.  When it involves things like looking up commission fees for auction houses and estate agents, it goes beyond theoretical and unpleasant.

We all know our parent are going to die…sometime.  Most of us prefer to think of it as “sometime in the future” as opposed to “sometime in the near future”.  Of course, anything can happen to anyone at anytime, so it’s important to “be prepared”, but it still smacks of the ghoulish to me…especially about my parents.

I don’t mind the constant banter about what I’m going to get in the inheritance (“What inheritance?” “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”), but talking seriously about my Dad and Stepmom being gone…eh, not so much.

Of course, hospital rooms don’t usually generate upbeat emotions (excluding maternity wards and miraculous life-saving rescues), so it’s understandable the conversation turns in that direction whenever we meet in one.  Thankfully, it hasn’t happened too often; a blessing, considering both are in their 80’s.

No one seems to be in any immediate danger and I have all the information I need for the time being, so if it’s all the same with Dad, I’m fine if there’s a way to avoid the will…for some time.

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