Tuck it away


It’s been nine years since I left my last job in Corporate America (“left” is a euphemism for laid off, which was a euphemism for fired). For a year after that fateful date, I still had access to some company benefits. One of those was the clinic, where I received some strange advice on my only visit during that year.

Going in for my general checkup, the nurse suggested that I needed to change my dressing style. She assured me this would make me more attractive to women. I was perplexed. Wasn’t this a clinic and not a dating service?

Her advice was based on the fact that I no longer needed to dress like I was going to work. Considering I was in shorts and a polo shirt, I was not sure what else I could do, within the laws of public decency.

The main gist of her wardrobe suggestions was this: untuck your shirt. Instantly I could see how this would make me a chick magnet.

I asked her why untucking my shirt somehow was more stylish than a nicely tucked in shirt. Her explanation left me unconvinced and, frankly, I like the look of a nicely tucked in shirt.

But…I went ahead with her suggestions. It took a while before I could get comfortable with the “sloppy look”, but eventually it made its way into my current style of dress.

(I would like to point out, however, that I’ve not seen any increase in women looking my way)

Fast forward nearly a decade and the untucked look has become a staple. But for a different reason than attracting female attention.

Somewhere along the way, though my weight has only increased about five pounds, it’s all decided to make a home in a particularly noticeable area.

Noticeable, however, only when my shirt is tucked in. Perhaps the nurse had foresight into my future. More likely, she knew her physiology and the “way of all men”.

Whatever the reason, the untucked shirt remains the magic to hide my little belly. I know I can get rid of the tummy if I’m given a few months of warm weather. But for now, it remains hidden and people refuse to believe me when I tell them I am fat.

But, I pine for my old tucked-in look. The clean, smooth look that says not only are you a neat dresser, but you have your figure under control.

I can’t wait for “winter” to leave so I can get out on the walking/jogging paths. Shortly after that, I hope I can go back to the old style of dressing and tuck it away.

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