Shipper of fools or “Will you shut up already!”


shipper of foolsEvery day this week I have received a package containing more Halloween decorations.  It’s kind of neat, getting it piecemeal, as it allows me to build the outdoor display a little more each day.

It makes me wonder, though, what are these companies doing shipping like that?  First you get charged a single amount, likely calculated on the mass weight and size of the order (presuming no free shipping) and then they go and send it in waves.  Doesn’t seem to make any sort of business sense.

I’ve also had this happen with the Amazon Prime stuff, but I can understand that more because it’s (a) “guaranteed” 2-day shipping and (b) it’s a fulfillment process, meaning some of the stuff may arrive from somewhere other than an Amazon warehouse.

For other mass merchandisers, though, it really puzzles me.

Yesterday, I got a package of four more hanging items.  I knew immediately because the box was screaming at me when I opened the door.  Really.  It screamed on the way in the house and it screamed while I was opening the package and it screamed while I was trying to disconnect the obviously stuck “Try Me!” button.  You can see her pictured above.

Now, imagine being the driver of that FedEx truck, having any braking, bump or probably even idling vibration triggering a constant screaming and cackling.  Imagine then that my house was not on the “early” delivery list.

Interestingly, the witch’s hat was ripped off her head, forcing me to return her (no store inventory to replace her).  While I could imagine the driver being so fed up as to rip her head off to shut her up, the fact that she was still screaming is a tremendous testimony to the dedication and fortitude of FedEx drivers.

Ah, but she would have been a precious addition to my display this year.  Still, I might think twice about ordering her again, for the sake of shippers and drivers across the land.

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