Your place is so clean!


clean roomI hear this is a lot.  Of course, it’s not true.  As regular readers know, it can’t possibly be true, so what these people must mean to say is “Your place appears so clean compared to mine!”

Yes, I know this is an odd topic showing up without warning, but I just finished mopping and I didn’t feel like a writing post today, so this is what you get.  It’s called “ramblings” for a reason.

Now, as the linked post suggests, I still despise cleaning.  I’ve gone as far as to spread the cleaning out over the month (today is mopping day), even though each “weekly” task lasts less than an hour.  So, yeah, I still don’t care for cleaning.  That also means I probably don’t clean as well as I should.  So why does everyone (and I do mean everyone) tell me my place is so clean?

Well, for starters, I have a few natural advantages over the rest of the world.  I don’t have any four-legged friends in the house.  I don’t have any two-legged pre-adults, either.  And I had a stern Mom.

I was a normal boy, in other words, messy.  I had at least as much stuff on my floor as I did in my closet.  Mom spent many a year picking up after me and then she spent many a year ordering me to pick up after myself.  Finally, she got tired of the many a years and gave me “the ultimatum”:  pick up my room or everything on the floor gets thrown out.  Sh’yeah, right.  Moms are always saying stuff like that.  And then I came back from a weekend at Grandma’s and my room was clean.  Nothing on the floor.  Nothing from the floor in my closet…it can’t be!  Moms never do stuff they threaten!

Since then, I pick up after myself.

So, when it comes to keeping the house clean, it’s not like it’s one of the twelve feats of Hercules.  In fact, if it weren’t for my intense distaste for cleaning of any type, I would probably just get it done in a matter of hours.  Instead, I make a few hours work into an elaborate planning process over four successive weeks (kitchen, bathrooms, dust/vaccuum and mopping).

Take mopping, for example (obviously, since I just finished).  I have a routine to work the tile.  Bathrooms first, because you sure want those dry as soon as possible…you never know when you might need them.  Kitchen last, because, well, I’m over 50 now and anything that slows my return to the refrigerator can only be a good thing for my food and clothing budget.

Now, I will admit, if I’m throwing a party, I will mash all the cleaning into one day, but on an any day basis, my place is not really that clean.  It’s just cleaner than most.

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