Phone home


phone homeNo, this isn’t a blog on how I was influenced by E.T. when I was a kid (although I have great admiration for Steven Spielberg).  We’re done with those blogs for a while.

It’s back to the random ramblings of a reasonably regular routine on the Jeffrey M. Daniels blog, so let’s stop this preamble and kick off the nuttiness.

When I left my last job and moved into writing full-time, I made another fateful decision.  Seeing as I would be more mobile than ever, I didn’t see the value in maintaining a “home” phone.  The cellular would be my, you should forgive the expression, mobile home.  When I upgraded to an iPhone, the transition was complete.

Four years passed without incident, other than frequent pestering from AT&T and Comcast about the benefits of their home phone service at “low, low rates”.  Since I was currently paying nothing, unless they came up with a rate to beat that, for a service I didn’t need, there was no reason to consider.


Last week, a Comcast (cable) representative called and began pitching me on their xFinity service.  I usually just quickly (but politely) end the call (after all, they’re using up my cell minutes!), but I didn’t have anything else going on, so I let her ramble.

She proceeded to outline a deal that was too good to be true.  She swore it was true.  She recorded the conversation for verification and I repeated the too good for true terms and she agreed with them on the recording.  Weird, but here I am with a home phone and a bill smaller than before…essentially, they came up with an offer for less than nothing.

Well, not exactly.  I did need to buy a phone (my last one long since donated to charity).  Worse, I needed to remember how to use one.  All this fangled stuff that comes with the service.  Caller ID, call waiting, voice mail, call forwarding…and how to work this phone.  Oh goodness, the painful entering of each directory listing…

I maintain, without an ounce of shame, I am not the brightest bulb in the fixture.  It took me a long while to figure out how to operate my iPhone (at my rudimentary level).  Heck, it took me six years to get (sort of) used to my progressive glasses.  And now that I’m on the backside of my life cycle, I can’t count on my slowly decaying brain cells to retain information, like how to work a cordless phone.

Complicating this is the “benefit” of being able to text as well (using the handy xFinity iPhone app).  I never cared for texting and shut it off on my iPhone.  My last girlfriend always ribbed me about that (she loved texting), but it never interested me for what I believe to be logical reasons.  First, why not just talk to the person on the phone?  Second, who wants to type on those itsy-bitsy keys?  Finally, I don’t speak text.  I’m a writer.  I don’t ever want to get into the habit of writing “u r”.

But, I will set all the services up and inform my relatively small circle of friends and family of my new technological addition to the family.

As soon as I figure out how.

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