Omigosh, my nieces are aliens!


RachelGreetings, nieceling!

This is the most common way weird Uncle Jeffrey says hi to his nieces.  It is this very weirdness that allowed me to pierce the finely woven veil and realize that my nieces are actually aliens.  Need proof?  Then, read on!

I make my case based on cold, hard, unarguable facts:

– They belong to a technologically advanced race, able to work gadgets undreamed of in my time

– They listen to weird sounds, claiming it is music, but clearly unintelligible and unlike anything ever described as music in the history of man

– They converse in a language that bears little resemblance to any spoken tongue

– Their electronic communications have weird symbols and truncated letters that give suggestion of words but are clearly some code that only they (and their like) can decipher

In fact, just last night, my eldest niece participated in a sacrosanct ritual known as “College Graduation” along with several hundred others all garbed in their alien robes.  Clearly, they are now after all our knowledge as well.

Knowing what I know and after watching her boldly stride across the stage, I am left with little else to say, except…

Congratulations, nieceling!

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