No one respects (fill in blank) more than me


oahu-tree-snailIn this doofy presidential election full of doofy comments from both sides, forgive me if I find this the doofiest.

Part of the reason it so makes me raise my hands to the sides of my head is that it appears it is said without thinking. In this case, I mean reflexive rather than thoughtless.

The other part of the reason is that it’s so obviously false. So, when I hear it, I groan at its impreciseness, if not it’s inaccuracy.

A short primer:

“No one respects women more than me”

Except when I use “locker room banter” to advocate sexual assault

“No one respects our vets more than me”

Except when I state that any of them that get captured are not heroes

“No one respects African-Americans more than me”

Except when I perpetrate a witch hunt on the first African-American President’s nationality even after he produces his birth certificate

“No one respects Latinos/Hispanics more than me”

Except when I dislike a judge’s rulings and blame his parent’s ethnic ancestry


I said short, so I won’t list the many other times this reflex has popped out doofy statements. Really, I only wish I was at the town hall debate so I could ask a question.

I know you don’t believe in climate change, but what are your plans to help preserve our endangered natural species?

“That’s a very good question. No one respects the Oahu Tree Snail more than me.”

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