Miss Communication

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Back when I was working in Finance at my last company, I started up a newsletter for the Finance group (about 240 employees).  When I began, it was a little 4-page thing (really just two-pages, front and back) and I managed to keep it up more or less regularly on a monthly basis.

As the popularity grew, my desire to “top” the previous issue grew with it…and the pages of the newsletter also grew accordingly.  Soon it was only coming out every other month and finally on a quarterly basis.  Working in Microsoft Publisher and culling as much graphical accompaniment as I could, I added regular features like columns, humor items and even crossword puzzles (self-created!).

The most important objective for me was to make sure the newsletter was about anything other than Finance (that covered everything from accounting to insurance).  Finance work is governed by rules and procedures; creativity in Finance is not always a safe (or legal) word.

In most corporate environments, the Finance areas entered stressful times just before the end of the month (closing) and just after (reporting).  It was my intention to deliver a monthly break from that pressure with my own brand of tongue-in-cheek personality (something I’m quite the expert in).

Two of the most popular features were “Out on a Limb”, which explored familiar phrases and revealed their curious and often surprising origins and “Miss Communication”, a general rounding up of the vast collection of doofiness us humans commit when we try to communicate with each other.

I’ve decided to add them to the blog here, since I think all of you will be similarly amused.  You may have seen these bits elsewhere or they may be totally new to you, but in both cases I’m sure you’ll smile.

So, here is our first monthly installment…

Miss Communication

At times we are challenged when filling out forms, especially if it involves something dramatic.  With that preface, here are some (possibly) real insurance claim explanations:

“I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it”

“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way”

“The guy was all over the road!  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”

“I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.”

“The pedestrian had no idea which direction to walk, so I ran over him.”

And, of course, the one we’ve all experienced:

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment”

 See you next week for our first installment of “Out on a Limb”!

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