This month’s installment:
“I was misquoted!”
(some oldies, but goodies)
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
Brooke Shields in an interview to become spokesperson for an anti-smoking campaign.
“I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor on why he failed to pay his taxes.
“They gave me a book of checks. They didn’t ask for any deposits.”
Congressman Joe Early on the House of Representatives Bank Scandal.
“He didn’t say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.”
Richard Darman, Director of OMB on President Bush not following up on campaign pledges.
“I didn’t accept it. I received it.”
Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to Reagan on $1,000 and two watches he was given after arranging an interview for Japanese journalists with Nancy Reagan.
“I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.”
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”
Winston Bennett, basketball forward
“I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.”
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Mayor Marion Berry, Washington, D.C.
“Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.”
Othal Brand, member of Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane.
“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history…this century’s history…We all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”
Dan Quayle, as Indiana senator (it’s almost cheating, using him twice)
“Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.”
Chicago Rotary Club journal, “Gyrator”
“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and then mayor of Philadelphia
“The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry inspector.”
Knight Ridder News Service dispatch
“After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.”
Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
“The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.”
Dizzy Dean, baseball pitcher
More fun and confusion can be found in previous installments of Miss Communication. Here’s a couple to get you started…