Miss Communication

A little veer away from our usual fare for a short primer on how to know if you’ve been working in Corporate America far too long…

You actually know what a paradigm is

You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard

You ask the waiter what the chef’s core competencies are

You believe you have no problems in your life, only “issues” and “improvement opportunities”

You can explain to someone the difference between “re-engineering”, “down-sizing”, “right-sizing” and “firing people’s butts”

You can use the term “value-added” without laughing

You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review

You end every argument by saying “Let’s talk about this offline”

You tell the loan officer you are “highly leveraged” as opposed to “in debt”

You give constructive feedback to your cat

You insist that you do more market research before you and your spouse have another child

You refer to dating as test marketing

You call your life up until now “my sunk costs”

You explain to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late

You understand your airline’s fare structure

You write executive summaries on your love letters

Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points