Miss Communication
A little veer away from our usual fare for a short primer on how to know if you’ve been working in Corporate America far too long…
You actually know what a paradigm is
You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard
You ask the waiter what the chef’s core competencies are
You believe you have no problems in your life, only “issues” and “improvement opportunities”
You can explain to someone the difference between “re-engineering”, “down-sizing”, “right-sizing” and “firing people’s butts”
You can use the term “value-added” without laughing
You celebrate your wedding anniversary by conducting a performance review
You end every argument by saying “Let’s talk about this offline”
You tell the loan officer you are “highly leveraged” as opposed to “in debt”
You give constructive feedback to your cat
You insist that you do more market research before you and your spouse have another child
You refer to dating as test marketing
You call your life up until now “my sunk costs”
You explain to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late
You understand your airline’s fare structure
You write executive summaries on your love letters
Your Valentine’s Day cards have bullet points
