Legal cheating


Yesterday’s post was out of character for my normally (and purposely) lighthearted blog.  However, seeing as I’ve taken a step down that path, maybe I’ll take another day or two to explore the darker side of human nature.

Funny thing about cheating; in most instances, it’s against the law.  Cheat on your taxes?  Crime.  Cheat on a contract?  Crime.  Cheat on a sworn statement (court, application, etc.)?  Crime.

Cheat on a lover or spouse?  Not a crime.  Unless all three are married.  Then it’s a crime.  Well, in some states.

Let me preface the following rant by saying that I concede I may not have the bona fides to champion this discussion.  After all, I can count the number of relationships I’ve been in on one hand and not even use all the fingers.  Still, I know how I would feel should I be the one cheated on and (unfortunately) have known a few friends who have been in that situation.  And finally, it’s my blog and I can ramble on any subject I want.

Is there any greater betrayal of a relationship than cheating?  The concept of trust is inherent to true love.  Once infatuation/lust/attraction cools and the part of living in each other’s lives becomes real, trust is an essential to a healthy (and lengthy) relationship.

Yes, there are plenty of relationships without trust.  Yes, there are relationships that begin with trust and fade.  I’m not so naive about the human condition as to demand absolutes.  Nevertheless, to profess love for someone and (hopefully) believe it yourself, requires trust in them and you.

Is there any crime you can think of (short of the violent ones) that can cause as much pain or anguish as finding out the person you still love is loving another?  As bad as that is, isn’t it the fact that they did not have the respect or honesty to tell you?  Again, short of violent tragedies, is there anything more traumatizing than being cheated on?  Getting some property or a bundle of money makes that go away?

I’ve had some people tell me that it’s “okay” to cheat when your relationship is over (even if you’re not yet broken up/divorced/separated).  It’s not really cheating, they say.  Uh, no.  Still is.  Look it up.

How can people be so cowardly as to not tell their partner how they really feel (or, more precisely, no longer feel) and yet so selfish as to comfort themselves with someone else?  How can our society find so little outrage that we spend millions in magazines, TV shows and movies watching dramatizations of those same characteristics we would likely be devastated by.

And yet here we are.  In the court of law and in the court of public opinion, cheating on the one you (supposedly) love is not a crime.

It’s entirely legal.

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