I lied


i-liedOkay, kids, time for me to fess up. I’m a fibber. A prevaricator. A deceiver. An obfuscator. I lied.

Here is the sad tale of my misleading you:

Frequently, during this Halloween season of posts, I’ve made mention that I plan for Halloween every day of the year. Except one. Today. Halloween. The Big One.

I’m always too busy making last-minute changes, trying to hit perfection, arranging the goody bags for maximum efficiency and nervously eyeing the skies for Mom Nature’s good graces.

So, as I left for my first morning walk in sometime (previously prevented by many things, most of which were Halloween related), I began gathering my thoughts on the sequence of events for today.

This includes getting some last-minute candy, making the candy bags and slipping them in the goody bags, adjusting the webs from their weather-beaten shapes, cleaning loose leaves from the Dead Thing Pen, turning on all the animated items and lights and setting up my hallway for easy access to the four versions of goody bags.

And then came my falsehood.

Without bidding or intention, there came the solidifying of next year’s Halloween display. I couldn’t believe it. both from how awesome it would be and that I was actually planning for Halloween on my heretofore hallowed Halloween day.


2017-halloween-planogramBecause of my bald-faced deceit, I feel obligated to at least share with you the idea that I cut short my walk (from 4 to 3 miles) so I could get it all down.

As you can see, we’re now upgrading to Dead Thing Pen 2.0, and the double-edged pen will have thematic structure.

In my mind, this is what I see: On the south side, the Dead Thing Animal Control will be a skeleton chasing after the Dead Things with a net, intent on catching them and caging them. Oh the woe!

On the north side, the Dead Thing Pied Piper will be a skeleton blowing on a pipe to attract and kill (?) the Dead Things. Oh the inhumanity!

The effect, then, will be all the Dead Things fleeing a skeleton on one side and all the Dead Things running towards a skeleton on the other side.

I expect Wal-Mart’s hunting and toy sections can provide me with the net and pipe. I may have to use a costume shop to get the rakish Pied Piper hat.

Ambitious? Dur. Time consuming? Duh. Back-breaking? D’oh.

So, I’m sorry I lied, but can we agree it was an honest lie?

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