Bugs can teleport?!?

image_pdfimage_print

bugs-can-teleportI’m not a barefoot man. Just never found it comfortable, for lots of reasons.

Chief among those reasons are that I don’t like sweaty shoes and I don’t like cold feet. So, I wear socks almost all the time, though, oddly enough, I don’t wear them to bed (because that’s what sheets and comforters are there for).

In rare occasions, I have worn socks to bed and in one of those rare occasions I was so much the better for it.

After rolling out of bed one (Florida) cold morning, my foot landed on something hard. I thought maybe my stereo/alarm clock remote control had fallen on the floor but that thought was horribly dashed when the object beneath my foot began to move!

It turned out to be one of those hard shell black beetles. Blecch. Thank goodness for my socks or I would have been more than creeped out. I would have been in outright panic.

I don’t know that I have a bug phobia per se, I have more of a bugs-crawling-on-or-touching-me phobia. Blecch.

I am quite proud that my single person, no kids, no pets home has few nature incursions. Most of those are simply explained.

The random lizard, who no doubt dashes in the front door if it is ajar when I go for the mail. The inevitable sugar ant invasion every few years and the odd spider, flying thing or (extremely rare and distasteful) cockroach.

All of them make sense. Lizards (and – blecch – roaches) dart at impressive speeds. Spiders are the contortionists of the insect world and flying things, well, fly.

But up until this weekend, I never knew bugs could teleport.

There can be no other scientific explanation.

I was sitting at my computer desk, pounding out something and turned to put on my hiking shoes for my morning walk when I see a twisting and turning form on my pergo floor.

One of those orange caterpillars, you know, the one with the bristly black spikes.orange-caterpillar

Yeah, him.

I had a moment of disbelief/disgust/dismay and then I salvaged two old envelopes from the trash to scoop him up and take him outside. Blecch. (Hey, I may be phobic, but I’m not homicidal…except to roaches…die, die, die!!!).

When I returned and had gotten over my willies, I wondered how the heck that…thing…could have invaded my home.

It’s not fast enough to slip in the door. It doesn’t fly. I have no open windows or cracks anywhere.

There can be no other solution than it teleported in.

I must now and forever live in fear.

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)