Bag man


Oh sure, maybe all you’re hearing about today is those three dudes from the Trump campaign being brought up on charges. I’ll bet everyone is yelling that’s the big news of the day.

See, that’s where I agree about fake news, ’cause that’s clearly not the most important story today. I mean, c’mon man, we know where the real focus needs to be:

Today is Halloween!

That’s right, it’s not like anyone’s gonna be impeached or sent to prison today. No nukes planned from North Korea and no one’s giving you a tax break anytime soon. So, stop getting distracted and get those candy bowls ready. You’ve got kids coming your way!

Speaking of bowls, I have to miss bowling league today because of Halloween, so don’t start whining to me about your sacrifices or busy schedules. I never miss bowling league. I never disrespect a commitment.

Unless there is a prior, more precious commitment.

In all my Halloween’s as an adult, I have only once missed being home for the annual gift and candy giving process. That one time, in a new position with my last company, I was sent so far away (Las Vegas) that there was literally no way for me to return in time. Boy was I steamed and I made sure I was never sent off on that annual trip again.

I’m all set for tonight. Got my bags in my bins and separated by the bag style to help with speedy distribution (the little kid bags have the cartoony characters on them). I still have to drag out the fog machine and give it a test run, but I’ll do that when it’s a little warmer out.

After all the drama of the weather over the past two weeks, the display seems to have held up well. I’m still mad about the missing rat, no doubt caused by that #$@%! leaf blower who again started destroying my work before I could get out there.

But, that ($#@%!) distraction aside, I think the Dead Thing Driveway has done its job well. During the past couple of weeks, as it has built to its full size, more and more cars have slowed while passing. And delivery trucks and workers and the kids going back and forth to school.

Which brings up a potential scary thought – what if it does its work too well? I made a few more bags than last year, but not that many. What if the big display brings in tons more kids? I don’t have anything unpacked or loose that I could use to make new bags for tonight. Unlike Apple X, “off the charts” demand is not necessarily a good thing.

The weather is supposed to be absolutely perfect for trick or treaters – mid 60’s – which might be another inducement for increased traffic. Ah well, if it looks like I’m running out of a category (young boy/old boy, young girl/old girl), I’ll see if I can cobble something up on the fly.

But, pay attention! All that other “news” can wait. It’s Halloween! Get your candy bowls and goodies ready!

The dreary, tiresome and noisome real world will still be here tomorrow.

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