I stare agog at my tummy, now an actual tummy and I step on the scale and notice my weight is within a pound of where it has been for the last four years. Where could this tummy have come from?
My only conclusion is that it must not be from this Earth. Somehow, insidious aliens, using a technology vastly superior to our own, have transformed my shape without changing my weight. Their malevolent motivations remain unclear, but I cannot deny the physical evidence (literally) in front of me.
Little do they realize that I have returned to playing tennis three times a week. If, like today, I continue to be on the courts for three hours a session, I think I can reverse the effects of their evil science and revert to my normal form.
I’ve risked revealing my plans to you because I don’t believe they’ve discovered my website and I wanted to warn you, too. Beware…your waistline also may be an alien plot!