I always thought I would have more time.

It was inevitable, of course, but still, I thought it wouldn’t be for a while.

But, there it is. No sense weeping or whining. Time to face up to the facts and move on. Even though it’s come on sooner than expected, it’s not fully developed. Not yet.

There is no denying it…my brain is melting.

My Grandma was the only family member I actually saw this happen to and she was in her 90’s before it took control. My Dad gets the fuzzy memory sometimes, but he’s turning 88 this year.

Me, not even 57 yet and already I have either swiss cheese or custard for brains.

I always thought the simple stuff I did, like making lists before going grocery shopping, was because I was efficient, not deficient. I can no longer go shopping without a list, I am guaranteed to forget something.

Just the other day, I laid out my tasks ahead of me. I set up the dishwasher so I could wash the dishes when I went out shopping and have clean dishes for lunch when I returned. I got back and saw the dishwasher door open, having forgotten to start it.

Recently, I sent out a long email describing my front landscape, past and present, and mentioned that the picture I sent showed its current state. Hours later, I realized I never attached the picture.

I had the idea for this blog when I was in the shower (remembering about the picture). By the time I got out of the shower and dressed, I had forgotten the blog idea (thus, no posts this week so far).

Small examples? Sure, but that’s how it always starts. Small. Little random brain cells dying, or leaving for a better brain (those traitors). We all know what happens when you pile a lot of little things together…big things (or a big mess, same diff).

I can’t decide whether living alone speeds up or minimizes the effect of my melting brain. Maybe I can go a couple of decades of slow death before it advances again. Or maybe, I’ll just forget that I have this blog and you’ll never know, you’ll just think I was lazy (I am, but that’s another post).

Ah well, at least I can still string words together verbally and virtually, so there’s still some quantity of brain still functioning. And I can still manage most crossword puzzles fairly well, which is also encouraging.

But, yeah, at the very least, I’ve become addle-brained.

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